It’s completely OK to need some time to yourself after a fight, but expressing that need is what differentiates healthy from unhealthy silence. A simple statement like, “I’m not ready to talk right now, but I’ll let you know when I am,” can give you both the time and space to think things through without the added pressure of the silent treatment.
There’s Nothing Left To Say.
Having occasional lulls in conversation is very different from having nothing to say to each other. For example, if you meet up after class or work, sit down to dinner, and find you have nothing to talk about, it can be a sign that you’ve lost your spark. That might sound pretty bad, but, before you freak out, this type of silence does not mean your romance is doomed to fail. It’s actually pretty standard, but it is a signal that you’ll need to start putting more effort into your relationship if you want it to last.
“It's normal,” relationship coach Laurel House explained to Brides. “Your lives are melding and so are your interests, activities, and stories. Just because you aren't jumping from one topic to the next and you are no longer staying up all night talking because you have so much you want to say, doesn't mean that the relationship has gone stale. Your conversations need to shift from fresh to in depth.”
If you can’t make that shift, however, it could mean a difficult future together. Pricilla Martinez, a life coach at Blush Online Life Coaching, previously told Elite Daily that "communication is key to any relationship in order to ensure both partners are moving in the same direction in terms of commitment." Without being able to talk about the deeper stuff, it can be really hard to keep a romantic relationship strong, happy, and healthy — and you shouldn’t settle for any less.
You're Shutting Down.
Tell me if this sounds familiar: You’re arguing, but you’re not getting any closer to common ground. One or both of you retreat. Someone might shut down and stop fighting, or agree simply for the sake of peace and quiet.
This type of silence is often referred to as stonewalling — and if it’s happening in your relationship, it could mean both of you need to pursue some emotional growth. “Stonewalling is one sign they are emotionally unavailable,” says Kali Rogers, relationship expert and founder of Blush Online Life Coaching, previously told Elite Daily.
“It typically happens when emotions are triggered. Maybe something stressful happened at work that day or an uncomfortable situation came up at home,” Rogers explained. “Instead of inviting a dialogue about the incident, they shut down and aren't open to communicating at all.”
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