That being said, you don’t want a completely silent relationship, and some types of silence can signal deeper issues. Below are four types of silence that often signal a deeper issue. Before digging in, remember that just because you experience one (or more) of these quiet lulls doesn't necessarily mean your relationship is going to suffer — but it's worth opening up to your partner about what the silence really means.
You Give Each Other The Silent Treatment.
The silent treatment is where silence gets its bad rep — and for good reason. Dr. Patti Feuereisen, a psychotherapist specializing in sexual abuse and author of Invisible Girls: Speaking The Truth About Sexual Abuse, previously told Elite Daily that expressing yourself to your partner — especially when there's a conflict — is crucial. "Partners need to communicate," she said. "When something is wrong they need to discuss and not be afraid that the confrontation to the problem will end up in a blowout."
Sometimes the silent treatment happens even with the best intentions. You're still mad after a fight, so you're not talking. You mistakenly think that by ignoring the other person and avoiding the situation, it’ll eventually blow over. You might even think that the silent treatment will make things better. Spoiler: It won't.
The silent treatment is pretty much never a good idea. "From my experience working with couples, the silent treatment is often used as a punishment and therefore I find it to be ineffective the majority of the time," marriage and family therapist, Erika Labuzan-Lopez, LMFT, LPC, told Bustle. This type of punishing silence only exacerbates the disagreement; it makes your partner wonder, causes confusion, and builds resentment.
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